Case Study 2

Case Study 2

My husband and I were expecting our first baby and we were so excited we had been trying a while so you can imagine how happy we were waiting for our bundle of joy to arrive.  I unexpectedly went into labour at 36 weeks and then everything just turned to chaos and before I knew it my gorgeous baby boy was separated from me, he was intensive care and I was on the postnatal unit around the corner, as the birth was so traumatic I had to be taken in to see my son… apart from the tubes and machinery but all of the babies had them on he looked the healthiest baby in there, he was huge compared to some of the babies.  

I wanted to stay there with him all day and night but I was too ill.  I hated being away from him I started to suffer from anxiety attacks, I was asking the staff all of the time to check up on him to make sure he was ok, I was so frightened we were going to lose him.  As each day went by things didn’t seem to progress if anything he seemed to be deteriorating… by day 14 all my fears came true, we had arrived at the unit, and I just knew something wasn’t right and knew it wasn’t good as the top consultant wanted to talk to us, the condition he had, they had tried everything but he wasn’t responding to any of the treatment they explained there was nothing else they could try, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  How is it my son he was the biggest in the room, why me, why baby…

All we wanted was a child of our own we had so much love to give him.  And then all my mental health problems started I didn’t want to see anyone, I became a recluse in my own house, I was angry one minute and hysterical the next, I felt I was going crazy, my husband was back at work and to everyone else, life just went on.  But I was stuck in this nightmare reliving every moment every day blaming myself was it my fault I carried him maybe it was something I did while I was pregnant?  My husband begged me to seek some help but I was scared of what would they think of me if I truly told them what was going through my head…

Then it was the point of having to leave the house, I don’t want to see people they don’t understand how I am feeling, what if I bump into someone who knows me and they ask how I am, or will they come out with the same as what my grandma said “don’t worry you’re young enough to have another baby” I MEAN WHAT…

My husband made an appointment for me to see our GP who was very nice as she could see I was struggling immensely and suggested I started on anti-depressants and she would also refer me to see a counsellor.

After four months had passed and lots of ups and downs with the medication I eventually received an appointment to go and see a counsellor.

I came away from the appointment very disappointed I didn’t seem to get anything from it I continued in hope that it would be the magic cure to help me…but it wasn’t I felt a lost cause and that no one could help me. 

Until I came across AJ from The Coping Specialist she too had lost a child and experienced everything I was going through, her support was priceless, she just knew how I was feeling, she got me and knew how people’s reactions would upset me and make me angry and how the anxiety attacks would control my life. 

The mentoring program allowed me to find myself again, working with AJ provided me with a clear structured plan to help me move forward with my life, and the personal strategy was unbelievable, I could feel a difference within a couple of days, I started to feel calmer and less angry towards people and life, within weeks I was able to go out of the house without feeling anxious or having an anxiety attack.

My husband even commented on how he could see a huge improvement and it was amazing to see me starting to be positive again.

I would recommend the 3R’s Mentoring Program to anyone who needs that voice of reason and someone who will support and help them through challenging times, after all, who better to learn from than someone who has been through the same personal experience as what you are going through?

I can’t thank AJ at The Coping Specialist enough without her mentoring programme I don’t know where I would be, it helped me turn my life around and stopped me from living in the past and start looking to the future.